We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
