like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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