So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
