i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
