she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize