we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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