she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
