So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
