I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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