it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
