Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
