Small penises have feelings too.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
