Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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