I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
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Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
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SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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