hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
