dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
