So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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