You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"