I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.