my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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