Do vagina's smell?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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