Got a toothbrush?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i've created a new STD.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize