My friends, they love my intelligence
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
