Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
