There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
