Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
