I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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