So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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