Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
