people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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