I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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