i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
