In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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