just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize