Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
