That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
