I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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