I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
