Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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