im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
