I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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