i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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