Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
