i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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