So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
