my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
