We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
