Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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