We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
