Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
