I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
