She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
