Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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