normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
