I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
