then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
