so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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