Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
