They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
