the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize