How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
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my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
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Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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